Building anticipation towards Season 2022, have a look back at Souths Women’s 2021 Season by reading a series of republished write ups from Southies Leonard & Madden correspondent Miq Hargreaves.

Leonard Cup Rd 11 vs. Leeton United: A Match Report

11th July 2021, Showgrounds.

Freddy Mercury doesn’t actually sing the “…of the World” at the end of the tune.  Many remember it so, so wrong. It’s the fallibility of collective human memory: the Mandela Effect – after many millions swore Nelson Mandela died in prison in the 80s.

Southies knew they had played away matches, few could remember any genuinely at home. They had –  three months ago. Madden hadn’t been as lucky.

We’ve all heard Darth Vaders’ iconic line “Luke, I am your father” – but he’s responding to a question, it’s actually “No, I am your father”.  

Confabulation – the creation of false memories is caused by the brain’s rapid fire familiarity senses.  Test people with a word list; rain, snow, hail, frozen, ice. Days later many will swear on their grave, that cold was there too.

South Wagga struggled to remember the last time they got to play at home. 

Their real home. Halfway through the season meant many late signings never had.

They graced the hallowed Showground turf for just the second time this season, as Leeton made the trip down the Murrumbidgee. 

A genuine six pointer for the two best bets in the chasing pack. 

Would All the Rivers Run? Would the antique stalwart Kara? Could the potentially warhorse linesmen?

The stage was set for another country Australian classic. Both sides were enjoying promising rebuilds in the top grade. Lights up on the characterful Showy pitch, fatefully enveloped by the second best harness track in the postcode, for any potentially experienced officials. 

An unseasonably (but on reflection recently frequently recurring) warm winter sun returned from MIA to bathe the green carpet of the Showy in a warm gold stage light. A sun-shiny day for winter’s play.

This shaped up as a crunch clash between fifth placed Southies and now understandably MIA’s Leeton United, in sixth.

Young in third was playing host to fourth-placed Junee, with both sides hopefully not going to paddle steam down the Murrumbidgee to get to the Halls Bros Oval.

Resembling a Pufferfish amongst a pod of dolphins, at a Grateful Dead Concert, the ball started the day flung around Souths’ midfield. Souths quickly settled into their attacking 433 shape. Quicksilver Captain Kaye creatively combined controllingly with Lucy and Marwa, in a shape shifting midfield. Dicko, India and Stacey poured forward from defence to create even more springboards. Even the front three interchangeably dropped deep –  helping craft Leeton to a death of a thousand cuts.

Souths expectantly struck first, Killer Kayla Kopp instinctively anticipating the dodgem car football Captain Kaye had been orchestrating. Leetons’ defensive line had been hoodwinked high up the pitch, as the proverbial Pufferfish was grenaded over. The cheeky lob caught the irrigators’ defence in two minds. 

The Leeton goalkeeper – earlier than recent summers, as she smacked into a later than a public library book of a centre back, only  for both have front row tickets to Kayla’s perfect clarity of mind display, leaping skywards with the pomposity of a well seasoned Postie – after lunch on their last day before retirement.
Outside the box with her perfectly timed header, she confidently dispatched the ball into the top right corner. 

She had put Souths 1-0 up ‘11 in.

Leeton defenders closed down all around Lucy.
Lucy, she dillied, Lucy she dallied, Lucy, she was gone!

Johnno’ firing emphatically into the top left. A finish that had so much unnecessary whip, Indiana Jones would have been embarrassed. 

The pair had grabbed their fourth of the season each, to have Southies leading 2-0 in the ‘27th. 

Remembering recorded song lyrics differently is a quirk of nature.
Remembering late tackles differently is a law of nature. In California Dreamin’ – did The Mama’s and the Papa’s get down on their knees –

“and began to pray”?

Or did they get down on their knees –

“and pretend to pray”?

Souths all experienced this collective amnesia, momentarily forgetting what constitutes a free kick. Leeton used these recurring set pieces to claw back momentum. Southies gave away several frees in a fiery ten minute spell, as they all groggily remembered what it is like to play the game without the ball. 

With each high pitched whistle of the fluro judiciary, Southies’ Head Coach Burnsy became more animatedly frustrated. Giving away cheap free kicks – His biggest pet hate.

Time and time again the Refs whistle blew for unlawful Southies’ defending. He’d wanted to stamp it out the previous week in training, but was on well earned vacation during school holidays. This resulted in his Assistant spending the week having them fine tune flooding forward in attacking waves.

Souths were so late rushing back for through balls they were becoming early for the next one. Souths players were furious with the decisions, but as they were continually caught out on the counter, they were forced into reckless challenges to preserve their lead. Set pieces swung in relentlessly. Tiff, Southies new gun Gundagai goalie,  dealt with them assuredly and increasingly spectacularly. 

Another free-kick (this time indirect) rolled back and forth between Leeton’s two deadball specialists. Wizened Kara was the only one to pick up that it could be charged down. She had her hands busy marking several players, as her teammates continued to philosophise about the grey area of intent in shoulder to shoulder contact.

Having warmed up with a few sighters; Leeton’s playmaker rolled it back for her teammate to finally find her zone, rifling it into the top right.

No saving that. Killed the redback that lived there as well as Souths’ confidence. The pressure continued to build. Tiff managed to save two more free kicks pencilled in the top right before halftime.

Half time Southies 2 Leeton 1

The second half began as momentum continued to swing Leeton’s way. As continually did the free kicks towards the Tiffs’ goal. Souths forwards now hoped than expected to receive the ball at their feet. Kaye’s midfield trio and their pufferfish passing suffocated.
The irrigators seemed experienced in a way or two about a fish die off.

Foul.
Once again.
Dangerous Set Piece.
Once again.
Tiff primed her knees’ springs.
Once again.
Leeton’s sniper of a trequartista set her sights.
Once again.

Souths’ Coach put his head in hands, turned away, fell to his knees and began to pray. 

Possibly the Science Educator went to his knees and pretended to pray.

An eon seemed to pass, head firmly in hands.

…

“SWITCH ON!”

He finally barked. Once his momentary lapse in faith subsided. 

A few substitutions for tired legs and Souths began to click. Dee Green, Mel, Marwa took turns mercilessly megging markers. As Stacey kicked on from centre back, India and Dicko overlapped from full back to overload in midfield to help get that pufferfish pinging in perpetuity.

Shayan, Aimee and Kayla used the rolling subs to regenerate their lungs and every one of the forward six in the 433 switched positions fluidly. As an atom in Bern, the ball fizzed over the pitch every which way.

Each promising Souths attack resulted in a Leeton chance. 

Each Tiff save meant a Southies ping at the other end. The match settled into a rhythm of dissonant jazz. Each daring forward play by one side resulted in a counter for the other.

Burnsy urged Southsnot throw it all away now and “Please, please, please” exercise some caution.

The devil on his shoulder; his assistant, argued in vain, for more attacking waves. 

By the ‘80th Burnsy got his wish. The pace slowed down. Passes had a designated destination. The dissonant jazz became a calm waltz. 

Grey hairs continued to grow, however.

As it was all Leeton.

Parked in front of the Souths’ goal. 

Infinite chances left Kara and Stace coming to Tiff’s rescue infinitely. 

Yet chances continued to exist on the breakaway for the home side – finally at home. The pitch showed every inch of her colourful personality. 

Like a Zoolingualist with a dog on New Years; Marwa, Mel, Kayla & Shayan understood each bobble perfectly to burn defenders round the outside. Chances came and chances went for Southies unlucky forwards.

‘84th and it is truly “up to the God’s now”. 

So –  he wasn’t pretending after all?

With 150 seconds to go,  Burnsy gave up on the Higher Power and turned to that Devil on his shoulder instead.

“DICKO, go up, striker!’ 

Perplexed that this had more importance than the current Leeton play on the edge of the box, Kayley pretended she couldn’t hear him. India was urged to raid forward instead. Kara and Stacey barked her back into place. 

Not one needing further encouragement, Marwa slinked away on the counter and spurned a 1 on 1.

The Souths’ bench nearly exploded when, with mere seconds remaining, Tiff dawdled back for a goal kick. 

Final whistle blew by the official and Burnsy’s head was firmly back in his hands. 

As millions are desperate to finish off evocatively in every pub sing along

“…Of the world!”

All Southies’ wanted was “…of the Showground”. 

The dejected Souths coaching staff offered their players commiserations. A huge effort with much encouraging play only to be damned by silly mistakes. Two points dropped. At home. After ten rounds they were at their real home and they let it slip.

This post team talk was met with sideways looks and that familiar (but on reflection recently frequently recurring) eyeroll. 

Queens’ Freddy Mercury never ever sang ‘…of the world’ at the end of ‘We are the Champions’.
It was millions of us misremembering the chorus for the outro. 

Just like Leeton never ever scored a free kick in the second half.
Full time. Souths 2 Leeton 1.
It had landed on the bar, not underneath it. The cheers were ironic. 

He had been so familiar with cheap free kicks taking his points. 

Burnsys’ brain had been confabulating.

Souths weren’t only at the Showgrounds, they were in dream land. 

I’d be safe and warm (I’d be safe and warm)

If I was in the Show-y (if I was in the Show-y)
California dreamin’ (California dreamin’)

On such a winter’s day (California dreamin’)

Miq Hargreaves.